You never called my name, but I came anyway

happyanya @ 2009-12-25T00:22:00

2009-12-25T05:22:21Z

Happy holidays, everyone!

In a few hours my mom and sis and i are off to texas for two weeks. Here's to survival! (and hopefully, at least a shred of enjoyment?) *clink*

(i still use a lot of XC metaphors. [really though? i should start training again.])

2009-11-30T19:47:44Z

Standing at a new starting line.
Eyes intensely focused, mind darting to think about the course, then calming to focus on breath.
Fingers tingling, muscles tensed for the jump.
Ears hyperaware, listening for the start signal.

The signal saying GO. RUN.

I'm ready to start. I'm resisting the temptation to look at the runners beside me, or to look over at the people standing on the sidelines. I'm ready to run run run down this path, over that hill, jump over roots that threaten to trip me up. Up hilled pathways, under low hanging branches, around corners, possibly even through tunnels.

My heart is beating with my thoughts.
it's time to run it's time to run oh man oh man it's time to run run run run run go go go run run

kids re-enact the thanksgiving story

2009-11-24T04:23:25Z

http://www.babelgum.com/4012129/kids-reenact-the-first-thanksgiving.html

happyanya @ 2009-11-11T15:23:00

2009-11-11T20:24:52Z

let me hide my face in your sleeves

happyanya @ 2009-10-13T22:53:00

2009-10-14T02:53:32Z

For some inexplicable reason, I really, really want to talk on the phone right now.

jia thinking...

2009-10-11T04:46:18Z

...what is/was swarthmore?

happyanya @ 2009-08-04T23:49:00

2009-08-04T14:51:18Z

I'm in Hokkaido and it's lovely here.

reasons not to eat fruit in the dark

2009-07-01T13:53:08Z

It got dark but i didn't feel like turning on lights yet. I went into the kitchen and got a peach as a snack. I took a big bite and I thought to myself, "meh, i wish this was sweeter. i'll have to choose better next time."

I kept eating it. Some bites were sweet, some bits were just not tasty. And i got to the middle bit around the pit--the part i usually tend not to like as much? But when i got there the pit broke evenly into two pieces---this never happens! A little red flag went up in the corner of my mind...

So i turned on the light, and lo and behold! Half the peach was actually kind of moldy. And the pit was actually hollow and filled with mold too, which is why it broke in two so easily.

Good points of this experience:
- learning that it is good to examine fruit before eating it
- learning that mold doesn't always make food taste that extremely horrible (then again, i don't really have any other known experiences eating something so moldy)
- not wasting a peach

Bad points of this experience:
- i think i might have eaten more moldy bits than i'd like to think (though hopefully, the acid in my tummy will just break them down harmlessly, and i won't get sick or anything? but in elementary school they always told us not to eat moldy fruit...)
- the peach did not taste that good

Pick your favorite moral of the story:
a) examine fruit carefully before eating it
b) eat fruit in a well-lighted area
c) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
d) eat watermelons instead of peaches
e) other

happyanya @ 2009-06-24T20:13:00

2009-06-24T11:15:22Z

i want to see fireflies

comments on the day

2009-06-14T14:27:39Z

Time is passing absurdly fast.

Today was mostly a lovely and fun day with friends.

But also there is a lot on my mind i'm trying not to think about right now.

I hope tomorrow is a good day, even though i will probably just want to stay in bed when i open my eyes in the morning.

When I got back to Niitsu, i got hit on by high school boys.

No matter how much sleep i get, i am still sleepy all the time, and i wonder why.

The sun comes up too early now, and wakes me around 4am when i know it's not time to be awake yet.

But i had a delicious piece of chocolate tonight (thank you, T!) which increased my joy and also readiness for sleep.

Eigo noto sucks. There aren't any words in it, and it seems more appropriate for 2nd or 3rd graders than for 6th grade.

I bought cookie flavored tea today, but didn't get to try it yet.

I can't believe it's already the middle of June.

this is your chance to get free or highly discounted limited edition and rare items

2009-06-08T12:13:37Z

Let me know if you want anything from my apartment, including:

~~my biggest warmest softest blanket~~
5x shelves (?)
(potentially) region free DVD player
skateboard
3x winter type boots
hand mixer
~~shampoo, conditioner, body wash, soaps~~
cleaning supplies
3x towels
6x houseplant
various markers, pens, teaching materials, and other ALT related junk
a (fake) christmas tree with ornaments and various holiday goods
devil horns
bits of a pig costume
earl grey tea that is not my favorite but is okay as long as you don't oversteep it
~~a wide selection of~~ books (ask me)
various candles
cork bulletin board
paper lamp (with light bulb!)
cold "medicine" (thick lemony powder that when added to water makes thick lemonyish water that does not make your cold better at all really)
various flavors of incense
1x big bottle of maple syrup
1x bag of panko
1x haunted alarm clock

Have at it.

happyanya @ 2009-06-08T17:45:00

2009-06-08T08:46:00Z

tiny houseplant. i'm sorry i tortured you when i felt sad. the sight of you made me even sadder, made me cry more, so i put you outside in the blazing sun with nothing to drink. and i forgot about you. i remembered a few days later but you were already gone, and i can only hope you are reborn elsewhere, far from here, and that you won't be angry with me. i'm sorry.

mini post for now

2009-04-13T15:09:40Z

-PNG was awesome

-hanami was excellent

-I can't say i've fully re-gotten used to everything here in Japan (especially the "i live by myself" part), but i'm working on it

-the kids at daisan elementary school make my heart overflow with joy (and, i get workouts from playing with them). today was my first day and everyone is so nice, and i wish i'd had this school when i first got here because i think i would've been a lot less grumpy

-my burned toes are okay now

-adventures in internationalization!

child: the sun must be very strong in america, right?
me: why?
child: because your skin is ever so brown

-graphs are like friends
x-axis, y-axis--cousins i grew up with, played with
while z-axis lurked in the background--the older step-cousin who didn't visit often.
math is delicious

-after all of that, i still don't quite understand what "social class" means

-i have successfully blown up a balloon and tied it all by myself

-and now i must sleep because i know tomorrow my body will be sore from all the playing with schoolchildren i did today

things to do

2009-03-20T02:13:15Z

We leave for PNG tomorrow (tomorrow!) and i still have 3 million things to do, it seems.

I still have not found a hat. (I have much hair, you see, and it tends to not fit...)

And I don't know if a guitar in a soft case is a carry on or a check in item (anyone?)

There is a small part of me who wishes i was on the other malaria meds because i enjoy trippy dreams, but i'm fine with the one i'm on. (Real life gives me trippy dreams naturally, so who am i to complain! Hee...)

Things to do:
~~-packing~~
-returning library book (it's on someone else's card, so i probably should)
-~~finding a hat~~ and maybe another pants
~~-paying bills, getting money from the ATM~~
-cleaning my apartment (because it's quite the mess now)
-sending letters/boxes i've been meaning to mail for a month now
-baking a gift for scott and tomoko who live upstairs but will be moving back to canada or something before i get back
-call my parents
-water all the houseplants

Things left to eat:
-2 potatoes
~~-2 onions~~
~~-about 7 strawberries~~
~~-one package of mushrooms~~
~~-1/4 of a cabbage~~
-4 apples

Things to put in someone else's fridge:
-opened 1 gallon of maple syrup
-jar of black bean sauce

Let's see if i can do it all before bed tonight...

happyanya @ 2009-03-09T00:27:00

2009-03-08T15:28:02Z

Is it more important...to be honest, or to preserve unity?

happyanya @ 2009-02-20T00:00:00

2009-02-19T15:10:15Z

I wonder if there's any sort of extra (interesting, non-sketchy) job i can do (that gives me money) without having to leave my bedroom?

Also, i am selling my guitar. Also, i am selling the electric mixer in my apartment. Also, if other things in my apartment might be desirable to you, we may also talk about me selling those things as well.

happyanya @ 2009-02-04T23:00:00

2009-02-04T14:15:43Z

I'm all the way better now, but it took a while, and it wasn't fun, and there's more to the story, but all that really matters is that I'm better now.

Also, it was my birthday yesterday, which was nice, but i don't feel any older really.

My body tells me i should sleep more, including during the day and behind the wheel, and i think this is a problem. I think we may have gotten used to the being sick mindset where it's okay to sleep whenever you want because a) you've taken sick days off from work, and b) you're at your apartment where (presumably) nothing so dangerous will happen if you do happen to fall asleep. I feel like i need to work on this.

I still need recommendation letters! And not sure what to do about this, and starting to have minidoubts about my plans in general...

I got burritos by frozen mail today, which brought me ultimate joys and giggles and happy tummy rumbles. (Thank you, T!)

No matter how much of my hair falls out in the shower (and it looks like it's a lot), my hair is still getting longer (bigger?). However, instead of cutting it again, i think i want to see just how long (big?) it can get (before i can't handle it anymore). I sort of wish i could do that braiding thing at the front (sort of like in my graduation pictures) so i wouldn't have to tame my hair with bandanas and hats all the time, but it's too hard for me to do by myself, so we'll see. There's also a small part of me that wants to tie it back with a black headband and make little round earrings out of wood, but perhaps that project can wait.

I guess since my body says i should sleep more, that's what i'll do right now...

happyanya @ 2009-01-29T14:45:00

2009-01-29T05:52:29Z

Flu-like symptoms and labored breathing, lots of coughing. Fever of about 99.5 F. Called in sick to work, rolled over and went back to (labored) sleep.

Woke again around noon, got out of bed around 1pm, and made lemony tea, which i drank. Fever around 100.06F.

Went back to bed.

Woke again around 2pm, made a huge pot of sweet potato soup. Fever around 100.76 F Had forgotten my appetite is extremely reduced while i'm sick. Ate only about 9 or 10 bites, put the soup away, and am now lying in bed again. Fever at about 101.12F.

It just keeps going up and up, doesn't it. My body is sore, i can't stay warm, and eating/drinking makes me feel worse, not better.

I hate this.

happyanya @ 2009-01-29T07:34:00

2009-01-28T22:34:55Z

I think I might have the flu.

More on this later.

crafty bits

2009-01-27T13:07:18Z

Stole this from the excellent hikaru_no ~
Haven't made anything in a while (besides snowflakes, alphabet cards, and other bizarre english board type things) so this'll be nice i think.

The first seven people to respond to this post will get something made by me. [And I don't mind mailing things.]

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

- What I create will be personalized and intended for you.

- It'll be done this year (2009).

- You will have no idea what it's going to be. It may be a drawing, a piece of fiction, a bookmark, a mixed CD, some meta or a scholarly essay, or some new craft that I haven't thought of yet. I might even bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

The catch? You have to put this offer in your journal as well, and make seven things for your friends!

<3

happyanya @ 2009-01-08T13:42:00

2009-01-08T04:42:58Z

Happy 2009!

When A Knight...

2008-12-10T14:24:49Z

Because other people were doing it, and i didn't feel productive tonight. Some of them are indeed, sort of strangely accurate; others are just bizarrely funny. Here goes.

1. Get random songs from your ipod mp3 player (shuffle works well).
2. Put them in the blanks
3. Convince your friends to do this:
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
“Shut up” (Simple Plan) [[hahaha…]]

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“Killer Queen” (Queen)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“Get Your Riot Gear” (Five Iron Frenzy) [[excellent...heh]]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
“Tintinnabulum” (Adiemus)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“This Christmas Day” (Trans Siberian Orchestra)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Listen to the Music” (Doobie Brothers)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“Rubik’s Cube” (Melissa Li)

WHAT IS 2+2?
“O Caminho” (Bebel Gilberto)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Short Skirt Long Jacket” (Cake)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Cybele’s Reverie” (Stereolab)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Schadenfreude” (from Avenue Q) [[ >__>]]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“College Kids” (Relient K) [[!!! Kinda true at the moment]]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Nights in White Satin” (from a panpipe relaxation cd) [[eee…]]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Brain Damage” (Pink Floyd)[[heh..]]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Somebody Else’s Song” (Lifehouse) [[why not my song?]]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” (Libera) [[....]]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“Falco” (Shimatami Hitomi)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” (Relient K) [[yes indeed, I do nothing and am also a pirate. Arrrr.]]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“Kiss the Girl” (from Little Mermaid) [[only certain ones!]]

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
“BOOM” (System of a Down) [[eee...]]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
“If Moon Was Cookie” (Cookie Monster) [[you’d die too if you ate a cookie that big]]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
“Ruf Doch Mal An” (Wise Guys)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Chim Chim Cheree" (Mary Poppins)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"My Way" (Def Tech)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
“Knocker Boys” (Tricks Upon Travellers)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
“Blanziflor et Helena” (from Carmina Burana)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
“The Point of No Return” (from Phantom of the Opera ) [[probably not! And apparently, it’s too late for me anyway]]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
“No Te Preocupes Por Mi” (Chayanne)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
“Mala Gente” (Juanes) [[would’ve been true a few months back]]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
“When a Knight” (Libera)

happyanya @ 2008-12-06T03:21:00

2008-12-05T18:23:02Z

The Life Experience Test

Overall, you have partaken in 69 out of 169 possible life experiences.
Your average life experience score is therefore 41%.

The average score is 52%, making your experiences more than 18% of the people who have taken this test.
The average for your age group (18-25) is 46%.

Broken down by category:
Art: 9/17 (53%)

Career & Work: 4/13 (31%)

Civics & Technology: 2/7 (29%)

Crime & Disarray: 2/11 (18%)

Education: 12/18 (67%)

Fashion: 4/10 (40%)

Fitness, Health and Sports: 2/7 (29%)

Life in General: 6/14 (43%)

Relationships: 3/14 (21%)

Religion & Politics: 3/4 (75%)

Social: 10/22 (45%)

Travel: 6/20 (30%)

Vices: 6/12 (50%)

Take the test and see how YOU compare

DO NOT pick vegetables out of the frying pan with a knife, then eat those vegetables

2008-12-04T13:00:30Z

If you are like me, you'll end up cutting yourself a little under the tongue, and it'll start hurting and keep hurting until it heals. Sure, it'll heal in a few days, but until then, every grain of sugar, salt, or rice that gets into that cut will make you cry a little bit inside and wonder why you were dumb enough to try eating with a knife while cooking/multitasking in the kitchen.

The wind against my window blowing furiously at candles
candles all around the city, no naked flame to be put out
glass and metal frame rattles and
in my imagination
i feel a draft
cold that ceases the second the howling dies down

There is a lot on my mind. Kind of like always. But it seems that the minute I sit down to write about it, the thoughts run and hide in all the corners of my mind, silencing their voices so not to be found. And even though I've counted to 30 and walked into the middle of the room, called their names and said I didn't want to play anymore, the hide-and-seek continues.

But this weekend there was musical practice, and we danced, and I danced, and it made me happy even though I'm not sure I did it so well. It reminded me of fun times (fun times?)--those times I actually got the steps right in Modern I, those times we were playing tag backstage before taiko/dance dress rehearsal and we got scolded and made repentant-looking faces to hide our smiles as we carried drums onto the darkened stage. Like those times I was small and watched M play the piano and the younger Y dance and spiral in front of the hundreds of captivated gazes. But anyway, I wouldn't say that the dancing we did this weekend felt as etched into my mind as these memories, but it definitely triggered a box somewhere.

Smile.

More later.

more mini life things

2008-11-23T03:11:51Z

1. It's been all rainy and snowy and cold and windy and such. Also, i saw hail, lightning, and snow all happening at the same time--that's a first. Lately when I'm in my apartment, I've been keeping my little electric heater on all the time, but for some reason, the room only seems to be warm a) when I'm feeling happy, or b) when I'm eating something. Hmm...

2. Strawberries!!! They appeared in the little vegetable shop down the street from me, which makes me very happy. They are small and smell wonderful, and look so happy and red in their little plastic box. I just had to buy some! And now they are happily resting in my fridge, waiting for the Right Time, at which I will appear and devour them.

3. I never really did it much in the states, but layering your clothes is awesomely amazing. From a mini wardrobe of a few different kinds of shirts and sweaters, you can make it look like you have way more clothes than you actually do! Sometimes, my students like to guess what colors i'll be wearing the next time they see me. Sometimes I tell them that if they guess correctly, i'll give them a sticker. And then in my apartment that morning, I smirk to myself and wear a combination of colors that a) they would never guess, and b) they would probably never wear. Heh. Yay, individuality!

4. Ch-ch-changess. I can put my hair in two pigtails now! That means it's growing, I think. Also, I think I've semi-permanently lost a bunch of weight for some reason. Is it because I only eat healthy things here, untempted by the chips and cookies in Tarble, or the sticky and delicious sweets down the street from my parents' house? Then again, I also walk to get around here way more than I did in the states. But I know some pounds (kilograms?) are gone because clothes I right before coming to Japan that fit me quite fittingly, now tend to hang off of me in semi-strange ways. So now I have to wear a belt with all of the pants I wear to work. Shirts are always okay--the looser they are, the more shirts I can put under them. So it's all good. I don't have a scale around, but from looking in the mirror and throwing my weight up and down stairs, I'd have to guess maybe 3.5kg lighter?

Hah, that's another change. I think I'm actually starting to get used to the metric system. Guessing things' weight in kilograms, knowing that 160cm is not that tall (that's my height!), looking at the thermometer and knowing that on an 11 C day I should bring a jacket with me...

5. But! More stories later. I've just cleaned and rearranged my apartment again, and now it feels a little bit more mine. It feels more spiral-esque now, instead of the square-esque way my predecessor left it. And spirals are a good thing for a fox, yes indeed. I'm going to go revel in my spirals now.